1. Shared journaling creates connection without pressure.
2. A journal can build trust, openness, and understanding over time.
3. Simple routines and gentle creativity help it work well.
This blog is part of our “Trauma & Adolescence” Training. If you would like to learn more about this training or any of other trainings. Click Here.
Connecting with teens can feel tough. Video games, earbuds, and social media often command their attention, and one-word answers can leave caregivers wondering, What are they thinking? What are they feeling? Do they even care? Some teens keep their emotions tightly guarded, while others huff, puff, and stomp away when parents try to enter their world.
When it feels like the door is closing, shared journaling can offer another way in. This simple practicebuilds relationship without forcing conversation. It allows teens to express how they feel at their own pace, in their own words, and without the pressure of face-to-face interaction or nonverbal cues that can sometimes create barriers.
What Shared Journaling Can Look Like at Home
In one family, shared journaling became a simple weekly rhythm. A parent and their daughters took turns answering questions in a journal, leaving it on one another’s pillow each week. Over time, this small practice opened a window into the girls’ hearts—their hopes and dreams, friendships, interests, and struggles.
The journal also became a space for the children to learn more about their parent as a teen and young adult, often discovering unexpected things they had in common. What mattered most wasn’t writing something wise or perfectly worded. The connection came from open-ended prompts and a willingness to listen without correcting, fixing, or lecturing.
Many parent-child journals are available online, or you can create your own. A few tips can help you get started:
- Let your teen choose a fun pack of pens or pencils.
- Decide how and where to exchange the journal.
- What’s written in the journal stays in the journal. If your teen doesn’t want to discuss the topic face-to-face, respect it as a journal-only topic.
- The journal is your teen’s space to say anything! No punishment, no lectures. We want our teens to feel like they can tell us anything.
- Increase trust and connection by validating what you can (“I’m so glad you shared that with me!”).
- Be patient. Pushing teens to talk can alienate them. Allow your child to bring up issues and concerns when they are ready.
- Have fun! A shared journal isn’t just about exploring delicate issues. It’s about deepening your relationship. Be silly, share fun personal stories, and let your child see your own inner teen.
• Rate your day on a scale of 1–10. Why did you rate it that way?
• What was your favorite thing about the day?
• What was one thing that challenged you today?
• What do you look for in a friend?
• What are your favorite songs?
• What do you think about before you fall asleep?
• Have you ever let fear stop you from doing something you wanted to do? Tell me about it.
• What questions do you have for me?
• What takes up too much of your time?
• What do you wish you could spend more time doing?
• If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? Tell me why!
• What bugged you today?
• If you could change one thing about your day, what would it be?
• Is there anything on your mind you want to talk about?
• What was the hardest part of your day?
• What do you love about school?
• If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
• If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
• What do you hope we can do better as mom/teen?
• What things would you like for us to do together?
Trauma and Adolescence
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